This is a painting by tutorial of D.Roza here: https://youtu.be/IILiv7OdR7s . I followed general idea, but colors are more orange in my version.
It was almost done I thought initially till I took a photo to share with my husband and there I realized, there are major flows in composition as I did not think about it before... I think all of them fixable without big blood.
I need community advice please:
1. Could you please tell how the eye travels?
2. Does eye slide from the painting rather quickly ?
3. Do you think that changes I am thinking about (please see attached digital altered copy) allow eye to stay longer in the painting and travel around it.
Thank you all very much in advance.
When I looked at the painting for the first time the sun drew my eye, and then it followed the river and slided right off the painting. So I think maybe you could add something on the right, or in the right bottom corner, to stop the eye and direct it back towards the middle? Maybe just some bare branches? The digital version doesn't change much in my opinion because there's plenty going on on the left side of the painting and because the eye in my case follows the river and slides off to the right.
Disregarding all of the above, I love the soft light in the painting. It's beautiful.
Umagaan, I agree there is a strong downward diagonal composition. Thank you very much about your comment and taking time to help me!
Hi Sunnylady, I agree with Umagaan. First I notice the sun and the shadows it creates then slide down and right. The picture without the digital additions is fairly simple. Putting a taller tree in the top right corner helps with creating more depth but there it still needs something on the right to frame it and divert the eye back in. The sun itself is awesome and orange glow in the trees is very realistic. I struggle with composition myself when I try to create my own ideas so I tend to go with very strong framing and sketch the layout to try to create as many layers as possible to provide more interest.
@rah - thank you for your feedback and advice ! I agree that general movement points right down empty corner. Like I need to have another island there and not to mess perspective somehow. I think i also need lighten the island in the water to push it slightly back and kill that high contrast on the bottom of it. I wanna try to preserve open feel here, not sure how to do it though... I will it give myself couple of weeks to think and see what people here may suggest.
@rah, @ umagaan - may be to put some sort of a pier by extending land on the left that would circle the eye to another island and back to the sun and then down again to the pier?
Pier like i did over here: https://www.twoinchbrush.com/originals/Sunnylady/romantic-sunset
When I first looked at it I felt I was flying in over the golden water towards the sun. It’s beautiful as is in my opinion, but I could see adding some additional grasses in lower right. That and a frame would keep the eyes fixed on that beautiful sun.
Lightening the island to push it back is a good idea. Perhaps just extending the bank a little further towards the bottom right corner with some long grass would help too. Could be a nice place for a small row boat to be moored, how else will you get to the island?
@ForestVue - thank you! I did not think about frame as a tool to hold eye inside. Thanks a lot!
@rah - a boat is a good idea. I have not investigated that yet. Surely it will be a challenge to ensure perspective is right, I will try in digital first!
Love the glow .. fantastic painting
@David - thanks so much!
@rah, umagaan, forestvue, david - I did modifications and wonder what do you think now.
I feel that I cannot watch at it with new eyes even I tried trick with the mirror…
I still have double feeling about it but maybe this corrected one is not bad at all. I decided I will Not touch up further, if I get inspired for repeat I better do another version of it.
@rah, umagaan, forestvue - thank you all for you kind support and for advice and time you gave me.
@Sunnylady - the newer version is better. I am also finding hard to look at it as if it was the first time, however the tree on the left holds my attention and guides me back towards the sun and that fantastic glow. The additional island also adds a bit more interest and the tall grasses on the water line are a great addition too.
I find the upgraded version much much better. The eye doesn't just slide off the painting anymore, the grass stops it and makes it wander about the painting.
@rah Thank you very much! I thought about expanding that additional island a bit wider. I am glad it worked out.
@umagaan - thank you! I am glad about the grass addition.
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Description of adjustments:
1. I want to put bare tree and bend it to the right to guide the eye back to the painting
2. I need to grow the tree on very right to be bigger to stop the eye from sliding
3. I need to put some sort of cat tails bend slightly to the left to stop the eye sliding down and direct it back to the island in the middle.
So these are justifications - do you think it works?