Handsome Stranger

One spring morning, my father discovered a cute little pink pig roaming around our barnyard. Its origin was a mystery to us. Dad made several calls to local ranchers, inquiring if anyone had lost a pig. However, no one claimed it, so we decided to adopt it. Although we hadn't given it a name yet, my mother named the pig "Handsome Stranger" after a character in the recently released movie "The Villain," portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenagger. The pig was undeniably adorable. We constructed a sturdy fence and a cozy shelter for the pig to live in. To feed our new addition, we took a 55-gallon drum filled with oats, added two large boxes of dried powdered milk, and topped it off with water. We let the mixture ferment under the hot sun. After a few days, it began to emit a brewery-like smell, which the pig adored. Upon this delicious, but slightly alcoholic diet, it grew rapidly, transforming from a small critter into a massive hog. I couldn't fathom how it seemed to keep growing without limits. Then, one day later that year, my father discreetly loaded the Handsome Stranger into a horse trailer, and it disappeared from our lives. Weeks later, we traveled to Conrad, under the pretense of acquiring "Bacon," as my dad claimed. However, we returned home with a fully processed hog. It was incredibly delicious. It wasn't until Thanksgiving, when we were in our twenties, that Dad finally revealed how the Handsome Stranger had become bacon. Surprisingly, we kids had never connected the dots.